Bitter Sweet Gibbs
by Lena Locket
Summary: Gibbs had a daughter...


Title: Bitter Sweet - Gibbs

Summary: Gibbs had a daughter…

Category: Angst

Rating: PG-13

**"Sydney! Sydney! Open the door. You're going to miss the bus!" Gibbs was knocking on the door of his 16-year-old daughters bathroom. Upon getting no response he made a decision that he would regret for the rest of his life. "Ok. Well I'm going to work. Call me when you get home. I'll probably have to work late". **

"Gibbs?" the soft voice and touch of Caitlyn Todd, woke him from his revere.

"What?"

"Where are we going? What have we got?"

"I have to go," he said, standing up from his desk, "Check with Ducky"

**_He left work early that night. Something just wasn't right. He pulled into the driveway and made his was to the door. It was unusually quiet. "Sydney?"_**

**_He left his bag on the kitchen table and noticed her's still siting by the front door, where he had seen it that morning. "Syd?" He began to make his way up to her room. The bathroom door was still locked. "Sydney?" He called, banging on the door. No response. _**

_Gibbs had never been a religious person, but then he had prayed. Prayed that she was safe, at a friends house. That perhaps she had snuck out the previous night. But deep down he knew that that hadn't happened. He pulled in through the gates and took a deep breath_

"Hey Ducky," Kate said as she entered the coroners domain

"Hello my dear. What can I do for you?" he enquired, his gaze directly meeting that of the young agent.

"What's up with Gibbs?"

**He had braced himself and kicked down the door, something he had never expected to do in his own home**

"What's the date, Caitlyn?" He asked her, slowly removing his gloves

"May 31st. Why?"

"Ah! Just as I thought," he exclaimed making his way to the desk. He reached into the drawer and pulled out a gold frame, containing the picture of Gibbs and a girl. She had deep brown eyes and hair, which contrasted with her porcelain complexion. "She was the apple of her father's eye. Very popular at school."

"What happened to her Ducky?"

"She died," Ducky said simply

_Gibbs walked through the yard, pushing the gate open. This place was full of memories._

**"Hello 911, what is your emergency?" The water in the bath had been stained a deep red, and she was lying there, her skin with a grey tinge, eyes staring emptily at the ceiling. "It my daughter. She's dead". **

Kate was speechless. "How long ago?"

"Three years I think. Before either you or Tony started here. I do remember at one point she was here on work experience and the whole building was moving with that appealing music from Abby's lab. They were quite close"

**_He reached into the bath and held her, tears streaming down his face._**

**_"no, no, NO!"_**

"He's never overcome it. It hit him hard. He didn't see it coming. I was present at the autopsy. She had so many scars. It's a wonder she hadn't succeeded before that"

**He had emptied the bath 3 days later. Abby and Ducky had come over and they stood together, watching the water and blood swirl down the drain. **

"How?" Was all Kate asked next, still gazing at the photo. Upon closer observation she could see that the girls smile, didn't reach to her eyes.

"She killed herself. Slit her wrists, but that wasn't what killed her. She overdosed on sleeping pills. She drowned. But she had bled out before Gibbs got to her. He blames himself you know. That he left for work before he talked to her. That he didn't say that he loved her before he left." There was silence for a moment before he spoke again, "He never found out why, Caitlyn. That's why he can't move on. He thinks it was him"

_Gibbs sat with his knees pulled up to his chin in front of the grave marker_

_Sydney Natasha Gibbs_

_09.10.1986 – 05.31.2002_

_Beloved daughter of Jethro Gibbs_

_"I miss you Syd. You would have been 19 this year. I know Abby misses you to. She's gone gothic. I don't think I've told you that." He sighed and began to trace the letters of her name, "I really miss you kiddo. Your mom called the other day. She wanted you to come over. It came as a shock to her that you've been gone for 3 years. I couldn't get in touch with her for the funeral. She was off with one of her boyfriends. You know how she is." He stood up, he placed a bouquet of flowers by the stone. A azalea was growing alone beside them. The bouquet contained red and pink carnations, a pink camellia, cyclamen, a purple hyacinth, a primrose and a yellow zinnia__. "I'm sorry"_

**Finis**

Azalea: Take Care of Yourself for Me

Pink Carnation: I'll Never Forget You

Red Carnation: My Heart Aches For You

Pink Camellia: Longing for you

Cyclamen: Resignation and Good-bye

Purple Hyacinth: I am Sorry, Please Forgive Me

Primrose: I Can't Live Without You

Yellow Zinnia: Daily Remembrance


End file.
